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The Mischke Broadcast Archives
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In this area, you will find a complete listing of all previous postings. Enjoy!
Serving
the Ideal Customer Wendy's Restaurants have a motto that is a
little different than most. Rather than concentrating on serving
up the ideal product
-- it turns out they are more interested in serving the ideal customer. 2:20
Ted's
Head Tommy and John Heidt discuss the odd and wondrous journey
of Ted William's head. 2:15
The
Maharishi University of Management Mischke imagines
what it must be like for the business execs. that have to attend the
Maharishi University of Management. 11:42
The
Affable Alex Little
five year old Alex calls in with some exciting news -- he's got a brand
new baby sister!! Trouble is, sister had kind of a rough birth,
but even so -- Mommy is already out galavanting about the town.
This is a newly discovered clip from around ten years ago, but give a
listen. I'm 99% sure this is the same kid as heard in the classic
"Campground
Terrorist" bit. 8:13
The
Lone Gunman Newsman Johnny Heidt is under the belief that only one lone gunman
was behind the assassination of John F. Kennedy. This astounds
Mischke to no end. Tom believes there was a vast conspiracy to
kill Kennedy and he does his best to convince Johnny of the awful
truth. 14:21
Virginia's
Near Death Experience Our old friend Virginny calls in to
relay the story of her near death experience. 7:13
Murder
and Mayhem in Music While sitting around the studio one
afternoon, Mischke, John Heidt and High Speed Chase try to figure out
just when music went bad. How did we go from lyrics like "My
sugar pie honeybunch" to the sort of thing we have in today's rock and
rap? 9:10
Look
Out -- He's Gay! The United States has a new ambassador in
Luxembourg and -- oh-oh -- he's gay! 3:43
Diaper
Man There's a fellow who likes to go into convenience store
bathrooms, strip down and then comes out wearing nothing but a
diaper. He's not robbing the stores -- he just comes out of the
restroom in his diaper and then leaves. But,this is obviously a serious sex
crime and is not to be taken lightly! 4:41
The
Green Green Grass of Home Undertaker Fred is familiar with almost all of the
musical classics. Over his many years of calling in to the
Mischke Broadcast, he almost always closes out his call with a classic
number from years gone by. That's why when Mischke brings
up "Green Green Grass of Home", he is almost stunned beyond belief when
Fred admits that he is completely unaware of the song. 9:10
Infants
in Elevators Injuries are rare when using the elevator -- but
unfortunately, when they do occur -- it is almost always the babies
that take the brunt of the abuse. 2:23
Norway
Checking In Roald checks in to the Broadcast with an exciting
call -- or I should say with the most exciting call possible for a man
of Norwegian descent! 3:52
Police
Pranks Wildcat Fox and
Mischke discuss some of the hilarious pranks they've pulled involving
the police. 4:00
Soot Oddly enough, it turns out that one
of America's most pressing issues is dealing with the obnoxious amount
of soot that we have. For cripes sake, it's laying around all
over the place! 4:26
The
House of Clocks Tommy starts this particular commercial like a
pro, but things suddenly take a sharp turn into the land of the
weird. At times, he almost makes it back to the actual ad, but
then -- just as quickly -- he ends up back out in left field. Yes, it's
an odd ad, but I think it certainly helps you remember the good old
House of Clocks. 4:48
The Photo
Every war has its famous photo. For instance, who could ever
forget that photo from the Vietnam War -- the photo that shows the
naked girl running away from the Napalm attack. Unfortunately,
Mischke thinks he's found the photo that sums up our current war -- the
War in Iraq. 8:48
The
Summit Sample Pack Mischke puts out a classic ad for Summit
beer. 1:25
Thermometer
Troubles Tommy conducts an
interesting interview with the official
National Weather Observer for the town of Embarrass, Minnesota. For those listeners not
familiar with this part of the country, Embarrass is a small town in
Northern Minnesota that is notorious for being one of the coldest spots
in the country. 9:31
Winning
the Audience Over At times, for some odd reason, the
Mischke Broadcast has had troubles keeping its listeners. 1:36
The
Obituary of the Evening (VIDEO)
If you follow this link, you'll see a nice little video put together by
an avid Mischke fan. She took some audio from a 1995 broadcast
and then took the time to painstakingly match it up with some
appropriate photos. The end result brings a nice new dimension to
a classic
Mischke bit -- excellent work Cassandra! 2:51
Halloween at the Mischke Home It's that time of year again and Halloween will be here before you know it. This year, I highly recommend that you steer clear of the Mischke household... 1:06
Mayhem
at the Minnesota State Fair 2007 brought quite a few changes to
the Mischke Broadcast. That was the year the Twins began
broadcasting out of KSTP and it was also the first year that the
Mischke Broadcast finally
made an appearance at the Minnesota State Fair! For the
prior 13 years, Mischke had remained hidden away -- deep in some corner
of the KSTP studios. 2007 was the first time Mischke had ever aired his
show live from the fair and -- amazingly -- he performed live from the
fairgrounds for the
entire run of the fair! 10:05
Podcast
Pandemonium Johnny Heidt hits the airwaves to do a little
news, but -- oddly enough -- someone else is already there -- and that
someone else is already doing the news... 3:24
Grandma
Grandma calls in to the broadcast with a little story to tell. A
little story with a few details, or maybe a lot of details -- or maybe
a story with every
single possible detail included in the story! 7:01
A Sick
Call Mortuary Bob calls in with what literally turns out to be
one of the "sickest" calls ever aired on the Broadcast. 4:12
Gateway
Cycling When Tommy goes biking, he likes to think he has the
run of the road. Pedestrians, old people and the handicapped
better take heed now -- when Tommy hits the streets -- everything is
fair game. 4:40
Noddin'
Bin Laden A British woman marries the son of Osama Bin Laden and
--as you might guess -- this leads to some rather awkward questions
from both friends and family alike. 4:50
Dickhead
The folks in charge of marketing the war on drugs have come up with a
brand new (and rather interesting) campaign slogan... 6:16
Good
Samaritan Gone Awry Mischke reads a news story about a guy who
goes out of his way to help his fellow man -- and then ends up getting
robbed for his efforts. This makes Tom wonder just how good of a
deed you have to do to insure that you don't
become the victim of a crime afterwards. 5:35
Hell
on Earth Virginia
calls in to discuss (at great length) her "happy childhood" --
which she can only describe as "Hell on Earth". When you hear
about her rough start to life, it helps to give you a little insight
into why most of her calls revolve around depressing topics. This
particular call is also quite interesting because you learn a few
things about Mischke that you probably never would have guessed... 8:26
His
Goose is Cooked Some
poor fellow calls in to the Broadcast and encourages Tommy to give a
call to one of his fellow co-workers. Tommy obliges and gives the
co-worker a call, but lets just say that she's none too happy
and there's going to be hell to pay! 6:49
Special
Note: This sound clip
covers two different time frames. The first part of the
clip involves the original call. Then, several months pass and we
learn what ultimately happened as Tommy is broadcasting live from the
fair and happens to run across the original caller.
The
Death Cat A spooky cat seems to have an uncanny knack for
predicting when nursing home patients are about to die. 3:33
A
Shaky Operation For some odd reason, people are quite concerned
about an eye surgeon -- an eye surgeon that just happens to suffer from
a severe case of hand tremors. 2:32
Happy
News with Heidt According to T.D. Mischke, newsman Johnny Heidt
delivers only one
kind of news -- and that's "happy news". It doesn't matter
if Johnny is telling you about a new ride at the fair or if he's
telling you about the mass murder of a family out in Hastings -- he
delivers all of his news stories in the exact same way. Mischke
describes that style as "happy news" and he's more than a little
disturbed. 3:25
Gateway
Cycling Mischke would
greatly appreciate it if you would pay a visit to Gateway
Cycling. Trouble is, they're only open for another 70 seconds or
so... You might have to push it, but it's well worth the effort. 2:56
Krampus It's Christmas time again, so Mischke feels obligated to warn you about Santa's sick and twisted evil sidekick -- Krampus. 10:17
I
Wasn't Doing Anything Wrong! Yet another story about an
innocent, angelic model citizen who is roughed up and traumatized by
the police for absolutely no reason at all! 9:21
Caring
for the Kids Tommy and John Heidt share some
heartwarming stories that help stress the importance of child safety. 4:06
I'm Not
Gay Larry Craig thought life couldn't get much worse for a
fella -- what with all the gay rumors. But then along comes one
Mr. Mitt Romney and guess what? Life got worse. 4:50
Let's
Do Lunch Mischke invites a caller to join him for lunch and
before you know it, you're suddenly hearing the oddest story about
quaalude parties, crop dusters and criminal activities. 7:31
The
Fisherman's Indulgence A fisherman tries to convince his buddy
that they should indulge themselves with the world's most expensive
dessert. 3:10
Wisconsin
Government Shuts Down Mischke imagines what life would be like in
Wisconsin, if the Wisconsin state government were to shut down.
Oddly enough, it's not that much different than your average run of the
mill day in Packerland. 6:01
The
Playground Pervert John calls in to talk about his time spent
all alone in a city park -- late at night -- in the dark -- hiding in
the shadows... 3:08
No
Woman No Cry Mischke and Heidt dissect that reggae classic, "No
Woman No Cry". 9:14
Abe
the Babysitter Years
ago, it was tough for a United States President to get by on just the
one job. He sometimes had to have a side job, just to make ends
meet. 2:49
Hearse
Hijinks As a hearse
pulls up to collect a dead body, Tommy suddenly decides this would be a
great time
to pull a practical joke. 7:14
The
Deer Hunter Mischke discusses his plans for this year's hunting
trip. 1:35
A
Sissy Doesn't Eat His Buddy Tommy's having an innocent
conversation with John Heidt and Jim Souhan when he suddenly manages to
firmly plant his foot, directly into his mouth. 14:44
The Oddest Interview This Side of Bangladesh Mischke is interviewing a fellow about the sale of a baseball card, when an odd thing happens. A rather mundane, average interview takes a sudden turn into the land of the bizarre. 23:43
Special Note: If anyone out there has some recordings of the show that Tom Mischke and Don Vogel used to put out together, I would love to grab a copy if at all possible I was a big fan of The Afternoon Saloon and never got the chance to hear Tommy and Don working together I think that must have been an incredible show Just click on this webmaster link to send me an e-mail.
Or, if you'd rather just talk to Mischke about some of the sound bytes above, or about weather in Buckman, Minnesota, or about how grass makes a different sound when you walk on it at varying temperatures, or just about anything else--you can click on the T.D. Mischke link to send him an e-mail.
